How I'm Overcoming My Habit Of Craving Cheap Dopamine

AKA: Social Media

Six months ago, I hit a major burnout, at least digitally speaking. The algorithms that once felt like benevolent guides had morphed into relentless taskmasters, and my screen time spiraled. The constant scroll for quick entertainment, likes and comments—a quick hit of cheap dopamine— had become a disheartening loop I couldn’t seem to get myself out of. I remember, ages ago, reading, or hearing, about a study done for Public Health that social media was directly linked to increased rates of anxiety and depression, a fact I can now confirm from personal experience. As a creator, my burnout was real, compounded by a glaring lack of engagement that seems to be the norm these days. It seemed no one cared unless it was “rage bait”—controversial content designed to incite outrage. And social media loves rage bait.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been sucked into Instagram’s app for instant gratification. Who isn’t in this hyper-connected age? But I’ve learned the hard way that while the moment of quick entertainment, turned into hours of endless scrolling that’s designed to suck you into the virtual portal, is fleeting and leaves you feeling empty. AKA: cheap dopamine. Or, the opposite, working hard on filming something you think is your greatest reel only to see it completely flop in views. I feel only creators will understand the latter.

Burnout forced me to rethink my relationship with social media, and naturally, with a family to care for, it seemed less important over time. Through no intention, I began focusing more on being present, soaking in the moments rather than capturing every last detail. It felt like a weight had been lifted. I thought after being online for over a decade, I would have to intentionally “turn off my phone” and make valiant efforts to not go online, think of ideas, or reply to DMs, etc. But it came so naturally. I don’t know if it’s just part of becoming a mom and having other priorities, growth, burnout, or a combination of all three but either way, I’ve never felt better.

Yet, social media remains a double-edged sword. It’s how I make my money, after all. And I have a family to care for so the pressure is greater than ever. The demand for consistent posting, commenting, and remaining present online is ceaseless. Despite Instagram’s rules: three reels a week minimum, daily stories, daily use of threads, two static image posts a week, not more than 3 stories per day, don’t over-link but don’t under-link either, make sure you’re doing giveaways consistently to reward your audience, reach your goals on a regular basis (Instagram’s new “reward” system for hitting what they call milestones, like view counts). And I’m not making this up either, these are all things discussed on my call with Meta a couple months ago. Despite this, I’ve taken a step back. Instead, I post when I have either a) the time or b) something meaningful to share, not just to feed the algorithm lords.

How I’m creating my own “expensive dopamine:” Doing hard things.

Aside from the obvious ‘detoxing from social media’, these are a few things I’ve been doing that have helped transform and enrich my life: I took a 6-week pottery course last year and had a wonderful time learning something new. I made 7 things that I still use regularly. A chip & dip plate for my snacky nighttime self (I crave chips and salsa almost every night), a berries bowl, a pot for Autumn’s pathos plant that I planted when she was first born— I’m excited to watch it grow as she grows, I look at is as a weird sentimental thing— an espresso cup, a super big bowl for Kevin as he likes lots of cereal and our regular bowls aren’t usually big enough for him, and a couple of other small things.

I go for daily walks. Now that the weather is nice, it’s very easy and almost harder *not* to want to get outside. I’m by no means a runner but walks, walks I love. I’ve become much better at being able to acknowledge when my brain is running amok and am able to recalibrate on my walks to calm my mind down and focus on remaining present. It’s like with anything, the more you practice at something, the better you become. I read books, wrote myself sticky notes and put them on my bathroom mirror, wrote notes in my phone, anything that would help remind me to “be in the present”. Soon enough, it became a habit. Although I’m certainly not a master at this; I still have moments where my mind takes control of the wheel and can spiral but it’s *usually* now nothing a walk can’t fix.

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